Excuse me,

"Excuse me. Do you mind if I recline my chair?"

I was slightly startled at the pure politeness of the request and hurriedly gave my consent. In that split second, I was blindsided by the brilliance of the whole thing. I was on the train. The lady, and she was a true lady, could as easily recline her chair without asking me. There wasn't much I could do about it. Yet by simply asking, she had made a huge difference. The chair in front of me didn't suddenly start descending towards my knees unexpectedly, upsetting my belongings. Instead, it went back right on cue. I wasn't filled with disliking towards the person in front but rather I had a respect and a slight awe for her.

I swung around and asked the person behind me if she minded if I reclined my chair. Her rapid sequence of facial expressions revealed that she was having the same thoughts I had had moments ago. I resolved at that moment that being polite, truly polite, was absolutely the way to go. The air was filled with bonhomie even though our knees wished they had more space.

I've taken this resolve into the realm of compliments. I am now up to three - three compliments to total strangers that I have just passed by. The criteria for giving a compliment is that the person must be wearing something unique - an element of style to some degree.

The first one was a young girl wearing a pair of jeans. The details on the pocket were such that they would have heavily influenced the purchase. They were shaped like apples and the stalk went into the stitching detail. As I passed her, on the left, I remarked on them. She gave me a startled look and then a smile, "Thank-you."

The latest was a lady wearing a knitted shawl. The startled look was followed by the look of someone who knows what they're wearing and is pleased that someone else appreciates the elegance of it too.

It's a challenge. Walking up to a complete stranger, delivering the compliment and then walking away with the hope that you made a difference in someone's day, makes you feel a little better. There are limits though. It is best to do it unobtrusively. I still haven't recovered from earlier this year when a lady at an intersection rolled down her car window to yell at me how much she liked my coat. The incident did nothing to inspire me to pass on compliments to others. It strengthened my resolve that strangers were to be avoided at all costs. I haven't worn the coat since.

But quiet elegance and politeness, there's something in it.