"Trust"

Apparently I have trust issues.

and maybe control issues.

I don't care. All the girls in my swing class apparently have the same issues. This apparently has to be corrected.

A movie came out in the last few years, whose name escapes me, in which a dance teacher is teaching a group of students how to dance. Two of the students are having problems learning how to waltz, so the teacher blindfolds the girl, tells her she has to learn to trust and tells the boy to take her on a walk, the scene fades to black as they slowly waltz around the gym. It's all terribly romantic and symbolic.

However, when the instructor says in an exasperated voice, "No, you're not following my lead. You have to stop anticipating what's coming next," wipes the beads of sweat off his forehead and takes a deep breath, and goes, "Close your eyes," it's nothing but terrifying.

First of all, when you're waltzing, as far as I can tell, you are always touching at some point, so the unlucky party with her eyes closed has some indication of where she is headed. In Lindy Hop, you get to do freestyling, you get to do things by yourself, which means you have to let go of your partner. So here I am, with my eyes closed, murmuring, "One, two, three AND four, five six, seven AND eight," to myself for dear life, while trying to remember to dance in a straight line so that I don't hit my partner; any other couple; or the post that was to my left when I closed my eyes but which may have moved in the meantime. It's a large post. It's a weight bearing post. It's has sharp corners. I am doing mulitiple pass-throughs and bys which entails a lot of spinning. I distinctly remember as a child that you got dizzier faster when you had your eyes shut. It still holds when you are an adult.

At last, I was able to open my eyes. Everything had moved and I was disoriented beyond belief. However, my dancing was now 'smoother'. I had 'improved'. I was just relieved. I was intact. I hadn't lost track of my steps. I hadn't hit anyone.

We hope the guys improve their ability to lead very quickly. Us girls don't want to dance with our eyes shut again. We were all terrified by the experience and it's affecting our ability to trust, which is just aggravating our apparent control issues.