Shake it till it falls apart.

Sometimes shop assistants surprise you and not always in a good way. Take for example, during my latest bike buying expedition, the young kid who helped us out. I had a sneaking feeling that I was supposed to babysit him at seven yet here he was pretending he knew enough to assist me. I think he was fifteen - just old enough to work legally.

He had not been much use really. We'd had to outright ask to test drive a bike and he hadn't seemed too sure of the process. Having test ridden several bikes by now, I knew the drill. The assistant finds the bike in your size, he puts it in the stand and checks the brakes and the tires, then he asks you to get on the bike while he holds it to ensure the seat is the right height. Then he hands you a helmet and you go for the test ride.

The kid after a while found the bike in the correct size. He mentioned that it was on hold, but said that I could still try it. It didn't look like he was going to do any checking of the bits. So I tentatively checked the tire. At this point, the kid checked the tire, then he picked the bike up and dropped it so that it bounced. He repeated a few times for good measure and effect. He looked at the brakes. Then he picked the bike up and shook it - hard. Then he did it again. Nothing fell off . . .

Then he motioned for me to sit on the bike to check the seat height. I knew that I was heavier than he was. Furthermore, he wasn't braced to take the weight of the bike and me. I took a deep breath and thought, this is going to hurt. It was the scariest five seconds of my bike buying expedition. So scary that I touched my feet to the pedals, gave a quick back pedal and put my feet back safely on the floor. He made me do it again. Deep breath . . .

I've never seen anyone shake a bike before. Not when he's already bounced it off the ground.

Did I mention it was on hold?